Fat Willy, Brown Willy

Newquay

I may not have aged too well since I was stationed at RAF St Mawgan in the late 1980s and early 1990s but, hey, have you seen Kelly McGillis or the bloke who played Goose recently?

Newquay, it seems, has fared even less well than the three of us since our Air Force days.

Bargain booze off-licences, mobile phone shops and charity shops seemed to dominate…